By Your Spirit

It took a while for me to internalise this one. To realise what it means to not remain standing by might or power, but by spirit. His spirit. 

God let me hear you roar!

I AM the storm

Manna - Conversations of Hope

A mumbled conversation starting somewhere with Psalm 5 and continues...

Psalm 6: "...treat me nice for a change; I'm so starved for affection. Can't you see I'm black-and-blue, beat up badly in bones and soul? God, how long will it take for you to let up?...if you love me at all, get me out of here. I'm no good to you dead, am I?...I'm tired of all of this - so tired...my mattress is soaked, soggy with tears."

Psalm 7: "...wake up  God. My accusers have packed the courtroom; it's judgement time. Take your place on the bench, reach for your gravel, throw out the false charges against me. I'm ready, confident in your verdict: "Innocent". Close the book on evil, God, but publish your mandate for us."

Psalm 10: "...I dare to believe that the luckless will get lucky someday in you...The victim's faint pulse picks up; the hearts of the hopeless pump red blood as you put your ear to their lips...the reign of terror is over, the rule of the gang lords is ended."

Psalm 11: "...but God hasn't moved to the mountains; his holy address hasn't changed. He's in charge, as always....God's business is putting things right; he loves getting the lines straight, setting us straight. Once we're standing tall, we can look him straight in the eye."

And "in the dark streets where the homeless groans, God speaks". Psalm 12: "...I've had enough; I'm on my way to heal the ache in the heart of the wretched".

Psalm 13 David said: "Long enough I've carried this ton of trouble" and my biggest heart's desire to be able to say: "I'm so full of answered prayers". With him I feel: "night is coming for them, and nightmares, for God takes the side of victims. Do you think you can mess with the dreams of the poor? You can't, for God makes their dreams come true."

Psalm 18 speaks of your Justice as the Master Avenger and I dare to hope: "...but me he caught - reached all the way from sky to sea; he pulled me out of the ocean of hate, the enemy chaos, the void in which I was drowning. They hit me when I was down, but God stuck by me. He stood me up on a wide-open field; I stood there saved - surprised to be loved!"

Oh, how we ebb and flow:

Psalm 31: "...you God, I trust. But give me room to breathe...save me because you love me. Don't embarrass me by not showing up...what a stack of blessing you have piled up for those who worship you, ready and waiting for all who run to you to escape an unkind world. You hide them safely away from the opposition."

Ah... and I can go on and on and on - yearning for more conversations with you.

Psalm 35; 36; 40; 46; 55; 56; 57; 63; 85; 91; 92; 102; 103; 107...

David, you and I are birds of a feather...

God...flexing...

If you had to tell me this verse is in the Bible I would probably not have believed you until I saw it myself. I love it:

 

"...God has rolled up his sleeves.

All the nation can see His holy, muscled arm."

(Isaiah 52)

 

I love the image.

I love the meaning even more...

 



It's been a while

A year of silence speaking volumes about my state of mind. Barrels full of emotion that mixes and forms nothing but a dark mushy colour. I need to separate these to see the rainbow again.

 

I don't think all is bad.

I don't think I have changed for the worst or that I will ever give up.

 

But I can't take this thing I call my life and cover it with a mere coat of white paint to start all over again. The canvas is tainted. The edges are worn. I can't say that I am ready to begin again. At this point in time I do not think I will ever be. But being ready is a luxury of the naïve.

And at this point in time I can only hold on, quietly:

 

Isaiah 57 - A Message from the high and towering God, who lives in Eternity, whose name is Holy:“I live in the high and holy places, but also with the low-spirited, the spirit-crushed, and what I do is put new spirit in them, get them up and on their feet again. For I’m not going to haul people into court endlessly... Otherwise, people would lose heart. These souls I created would tire out and give up."

 

Promises. Promises.

 

Show me.